In session two, we dove deep into our brains to discover what self-destructive coping strategies we have perfected in our lives. We also reflected on what these strategies have cost us. Today we will look at some positive strategies to help us cope with whatever our lives throw at us.
Distress Tolerance Strategies
We begin teaching ourselves how to relax, accept, distract, and self-sooth. This will be a huge undertaking, but you can do it. We do not graduate primary school in one sitting. We do not learn division in one day—we begin by learning what numbers actually are. Learning how to rest, accept situations, distract ourselves, and/or sooth ourselves is no different. Little, tiny steps and practice is required. Just keep practicing until it becomes second nature.
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REST… Relax, Evaluate, Set an intention, Take action.
Using REST, our intention is to prevent ourselves from acting impulsively. This is incredibly difficult to do as so many of us have developed these impulsive reactions out of fear. Remember, you developed these coping mechanisms because you were likely in an incredibly stressful situation in the past when you were not given any good coping mechanisms. This is not a character flaw; this is a fear response. As such, it will take some time and practice to unlearn these behaviors. We implement REST when we find ourselves in a moment of stress.
REST
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Relax. Easier said than done, of course! Stop. Take a breath. Remove yourself as best you can from the situation and stop to evaluate what is going on. Relaxing yourself is best for your overall outcome as we just cannot see a situation for what it truly is when we are in the midst of a fight or flight response. We have to first calm down so that we can truly understand what is going on.
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Evaluate. Once we are in a more calm moment; a more calm state of mind, we can evaluate what is happening. Ask yourself what are the facts of the situation?
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Set an intention. Now that we are in a more calm space and have a better understanding of what is actually going on, we can decide what is the best course of action going forward.
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Take action. Now we can initiate what our intentions are.
Some other distress tolerance strategies we will discuss going forward:
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Radical Acceptance
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Distracting Yourself From Self-Destructive Behaviors
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Distract Yourself With Pleasurable Activities
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Distract Yourself by Paying Attention to Someone Else
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Distract Your Thoughts
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Distract by Leaving
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Distract Yourself With Tasks and Chores
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Distract Yourself By Counting